Sunday, November 2, 2008

Step away from the parking lot!


A ford dealer offered me a brand new mustang Bullitt, (a commemorative model after the film). Apparently ford had watched the filmed and took sound clippings of Steve McQueen’s mustang and have made a version that sounds just like the film version.

I was very tempted but knew I couldn’t afford it. I told the salesman that my nickname back home is The Bullitt. He didn’t ask why.

On my way home I drove past another car lot that had a second hand jeep wrangler convertible parked in the front. I’d watched enough American teen movies to pay attention, so I pulled in.

Again I was met very quickly by a salesman, Chris. A younger guy, wearing similar beige chinos, but this time a red polo shirt. We introduced ourselves and I told him I liked the jeep. Chris agreed and said “lets take a closer look”. It didn’t have back seats which I said could be a problem.

“ That’s no problem. I’ll take some from that other jeep over there”. Fair enough.

“Wanna take her for a drive?”

“Can I?”

“Sure, Give me your licence”

Chris took a copy of it and we were off. Chris really didn’t have a sales spiel. He just said that a friend of his had one of these when he was at high school and that they used to have a lot of fun in it. I wanted to ask him what kind of fun.

After test driving it i was directed towards Chris’s boss.

“Well hello sir! What do I need to do today to get your business today?”

I was kind of prepared for this level of directness. So I replied
“I won’t be buying anything today but I am looking for….” I was surprised by my own passive aggressivness. Turns out he had just received a second mustang convertible which chris had gone to get the keys for.

The Boss, who’s name I forget, noticed my accent.

“You’re British?”

“Yes”

“Well, you’re the only friends we’ve got. The French can fuck off, the Italians can go screw themselves and forget the Germans.”

OK….where is this going?

“…some people just don’t understand the situation we’re in.”

“Yeah” was about all I could say.

“We’ve just got to keep on going”

“The problem with that is that you’re going to create a whole generation of new terrorists who have known nothing other than this and hating America… and Britain.” It had to come out. I said with a smile. Again kind of passive aggressive

“Yeah, so you’ve just got to keep on killing them until there is none of them left!”

For a moment I thought he was joking. But he wasn’t smiling.

This is when I realised that I was dealing with a different level of reasoning.


There was silence.

“Has Chris got those keys” I asked.


Chris and i drove off in the car. But I knew i wouldn't be buying it anyway. Maybe i should have declined and left.


It turned out the car had been in a crash. Thats one thing i have to thank the boss for because he checked it out online.


This is all actually happened about two months ago. My blog is actually more of a review at the moment.


Since then, the car lot has gone out of business.


As i left, the boss pleaded with me to check with him before i bought anything. For some reason i intended to, but of course i never did.

3 comments:

Me said...

Very funny Matt... just when you think you've met an American with a sense of irony, you realise he's actually being serious...

The Bullitt said...

I know. Are'nt i meant to be the one fooling them with irony? Its seems to be me who's mostly confused.

Johnny Dreads said...

Good on you for saying your real opinion.